JENGA MAHUSIANO BORA KATIKA MAISHA YAKO

Sisi binadamu ni viumbe wa kijamii, hatuwezi kuishi kwa kujitegemea wenyewe kwa kila kitu. Hivyo mahusiano yetu na wengine ni moja ya vitu muhimu sana kwetu ili kuweza kuwa na maisha bora.
Falsafa ya ustoa inatufundisha jinsi ya kutengeneza mahusiano bora na wale wanaotuzunguka kwa kuimarisha mahusiano yetu na ushirikiano kwenye mambo mbalimbali.
Njia bora ya kuimarisha mahusiano na ushirikiano ni kuangalia tabia nzuri zilizopo ndani ya wengine badala ya kuangalia mabaya pekee. Pia kuangalia namna ya kushirikiana na siyo kupingana.
Marcus ana maneno mazuri ya kutuambia kuhusu mahusiano;
Say to yourself first thing in the morning: I shall meet with people who are meddling, ungrateful, violent, treacherous, envious, and unsociable. They are subject to these faults because of their ignorance of what is good and bad. But I have recognised the nature of the good and seen that it is the right, and the nature of the bad and seen that it is the wrong, and the nature of the wrongdoer himself, and seen that he is related to me, not because he has the same blood or seed, but because he shares in the same mind and portion of divinity. So I cannot be harmed by any of them, as no one will involve me in what is wrong. Nor can I be angry with my relative or hate him. We were born for cooperation, like feet, like hands, like eyelids, like the rows of upper and lower teeth. So to work against each other is contrary to nature; and resentment and rejection count as working against someone. – Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, 2.1
Jiambie hili kitu cha kwanza asubuhi: Leo nakwenda kukutana na watu ambao ni waovu, wasio na shukrani, wenye fujo, wasaliti, wenye wivu na wasiojali. Watu hao wako hivyo kwa sababu hawajui kipi kizuri na kipi kibaya. Lakini mimi natambua asili ya uzuri na nimeona kipi sahihi na asili ya ubaya na kuona kipi kisicho sahihi na asili ya wanaofanya ubaya na kuona wana uhusiano na mimi, kwa sababu wana damu sawa na yangu na tunashirikiana mawazo yetu. Siwezi kuumizwa na yeyote kwa sababu hakuna anayeweza kunihusisha kwenye ubaya wake. Pia siwezi kuwa na hasira au kumchukia ndugu yangu. Sote tumezaliwa kwa ushirikiano, kama miguu, mikono, kope za macho, meno ya juu na ya chini. Hivyo kufanya kazi kwa kupingana ni kinyume na asili na chuki na kukataana ni kufanya kazi kinyume na wengine.

JIJENGEE TABIA NJEMA KATIKA MAISHA YAKO

Tabia njema ni moja ya misingi muhimu sana kwenye falsafa ya ustoa. Kadiri unavyojijengea na kuishi kwa tabia njema, ndivyo unavyojitengenezea maisha bora na yenye furaha wakati wote. Tabia njema ndiyo zao la furaha. Kwenye ustoa, tabia njema ni pale unapoishi na kusimamia yale yenye maana kwako na kwa wengine, na kuachana na yale yasiyo na maana.
Kwenye ustoa kuna tabia njema kuu nne;
HEKIMA; Ubora katika kufikiri na kufanya maamuzi.
UJASIRI; Uwezo wa kukabiliana na hatari kwa usahihi.
HAKI; Ubora katika mahusiano yetu na wengine.
KIASI; Uwezo wa kudhibiti hisia na tamaa.
Marcus ana haya ya kutuambia kuhusu tabia njema;

If you can find anything in human life better than justice, truthfulness, selfcontrol, courage […] turn to it with all your heart and enjoy the supreme good that you have found […] but if you find all other things to be trivial and valueless in comparison with virtue, give no room to anything else, since, once you turn towards that and divert from your proper path, you will no longer be able without inner conflict to give the highest honour to what is properly good. It is not right to set up as a rival to the rational and social good anything alien to its nature, such as the praise of the many, or positions of power, wealth, or enjoyment of pleasures. – Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, 3.6
Kama unaweza kupata kitu bora kwenye maisha ya mtu zaidi ya haki, ukweli, kujidhibiti na ujasiri, kishikilie sana kitu hicho. Lakini kama utakuta vitu vingine ni visivyo na maana ukilinganisha na tabia njema, usitoe nafasi kwa kitu kingine bali tabia hizo njema. Kwa sababu utakapoacha njia yako sahihi hutaweza tena kuzingatia yale ambayo ni mazuri kwako. Siyo sahihi kuleta upinzani kati ya fikra sahihi na vitu vya nje kama sifa kutoka kwa wengine, nafasi za madaraka, utajiri na kufurahia raha.

FANYA KILICHO SAHIHI, LAKINI USITEGEMEE CHOCHOTE.

Moja ya sababu zinazopelekea wengi kukosa furaha ni kufanya vitu ambavyo wanajua siyo sahihi, lakini kwa sababu wengine wanafanya au wanawategemea wafanye, basi wanafanya ili kuwaridhisha wengine. Hatari nyingine kubwa ni watu kufanya kitu wakitegemea matokeo fulani yatokee. Yaani unachukua hatua, ukitegemea matokeo fulani ili uwe na furaha. Hii ni njia ya kujitengenezea kushindwa na kujinyima furaha.
Cicero ana haya ya kutuambia kuhusu kufanya na kutegemea;
The wise person does nothing that he could regret, nothing against his will, but does everything honourably, consistently, seriously, and rightly; he anticipates nothing as if it is bound to happen, but is shocked by nothing when it does happen …. and refers everything to his own judgement, and stands by his own decisions. I can conceive of nothing which is happier that this. – Cicero, Tusculan Disputations 5.81
Mtu mwenye hekima hafanyi chochote atakachoweza kujutia, hafanyi chochote kinyume na matakwa yake bali anafanya kila kitu kwa heshima, msimamo, umakini na usahihi; hategemei chochote kitatokea kwa yeye kufanya, lakini pia hashangazwi na chochote kinachotokea, na anarejea kila kitu kwa maamuzi yake mwenyewe na kusimamia maamuzi hayo. Hakuna kitu chenye furaha kama kuishi kwa namna hii.
Kama ambavyo Cicero anatuambia, furaha siyo kitu unachokipata kutokana na kupata vitu fulani au kuwa kwenye hali fulani kama wengi wanavyofikiri.
Bali furaha ni matokeo ya maisha unayoishi na namna unavyofanya mambo yako. Kama unafanya kile kilicho sahihi mara zote, ukawa na msimamo na kufanya kwa umakini na usahihi, utapata matokeo mazuri. Na kama hufanyi ukitegemea matokeo mazuri, matokeo yoyote yatakayotokea hayatabadili chochote kwenye furaha yako, kusudi lako wewe ni kufanya kwa usahihi na siyo kulazimisha matokeo unayotaka wewe. Fanya maamuzi yako na yasimamie kwenye maisha yako, hili litakupa furaha kuliko kuhangaika na kukosa msimamo.

KABLA YA KULALA IPIME SIKU YAKO

Kila siku tunayoishi ni nafasi nzuri kwetu kuwa bora zaidi, kwa sababu kuna mengi tunakutana nayo ya kujifunza, kuna makosa tunayoyafanya na yapo mazuri tunayafanya pia. Wengi wamekuwa wanakosa nafasi ya kuzitumia siku zao kuwa bora zaidi kwa sababu hawapati muda wa kutafakari kila siku yao.
Kupitia Ustoa, tunashauriwa kuipima na kutafakari kila siku yetu kabla ya kulala. Na hapa ndipo tunapata nafasi ya kujifunza na kujiandaa kuwa bora zaidi kwenye siku inayofuata.
Jioni unapoimaliza siku yako, usikimbilie tu kulala na kuona siku imeisha, badala yake unahitaji kuwa na tahajudi ambayo utaipitia siku yako yote.
Kwenye tahajudi hii, pitia siku yako nzima, kwa kufikiria kila ulichofanya kwenye siku yako, kila uliyekutana naye na mawazo na hisia ulizokuwa nazo siku nzima.
Kisha jiulize na kujijibu maswali haya matatu;
Moja; vitu gani umefanya vibaya? Katika yale uliyofanya kwa siku nzima, je vitu gani umefanya kwa ubaya au kwa njia ambazo siyo sahihi?
Mbili; vitu gani umefanya vizuri? Katika vitu vyote ulivyofanya kwa siku nzima, vipi ambavyo umevifanya kwa uzuri, ni kwa namna gani umeishi misingi na tabia za ustoa?
Tatu; Vitu gani utakwenda kufanya tofauti? Ni vitu gani unahitaji kuvifanya kwa utofauti ili kuweza kuishi kulingana na msingi na tabia za ustoa?
Kwa kujiuliza na kujipa majibu ya maswali hayo matatu, utaweza kujipima kwa kila siku yako, na pia kujiandaa vyema kwa siku inayofuata. Pia utaepuka kurudia makosa uliyofanya kwa siku husika.
Kauli ya Epictetus kwenye tahajudi ya jioni;
“Allow not sleep to close your wearied eyes, Until you have reckoned up each daytime deed: “Where did I go wrong? What did I do? And what duty’s left undone?” From first to last review your acts and then Reprove yourself for wretched [or cowardly] acts, but rejoice in those done well.”
(Discourses, 3.10.2–3)
Anasema usikubali usingizi ufumbe macho yako kabla hujahesabu kila tendo ulilofanya kwenye siku yako. kipi umekosea, kipi umefanya vizuri na kipi ambacho hujakamilisha. Kuanzia tendo la kwanza mpaka la mwisho, jikaripie kwa yale uliyofanya vibaya na jisifie kwa yale uliyofanya vizuri.

TEGEMEA KUKUTANA NA WATU WABAYA KATIKA MAISHA YAKO YA KILA SIKU

Huwa tunazianza siku zetu tukitegemea kutekeleza yale tuliyopanga na kufanya mambo makubwa sana. Lakini siku zetu zimekuwa haziendi kama ambayo tumepanga, yamekuwa yanatokea mambo ambayo hatukutegemea yatokee, hasa kwa wale ambao tulitegemea wafanye vitu fulani na wasifanye.

Hili limekuwa linawanyima wengi furaha, lakini kwa falsafa ya ustoa, hupaswi kukosa furaha kwa mambo kama hayo, kwa sababu unapaswa kuyategemea yakitokea kabla hata hayajatokea.
Mstoa Marcus Aurelius ana hili la kutuambia pale tunapoianza siku yetu;
“Say to yourself first thing in the morning: I shall meet with people who are meddling, ungrateful, violent, treacherous, envious, and unsociable. They are subject to these faults because of their ignorance of what is good and bad.” (Meditations, 2.1)
Jiambie unakwenda kuianza siku ambayo utakutana na watu wachafu, wasio na shukrani, wenye fujo, wasaliti, wenye wivu na wasiojali mambo ya wengine. Na wanafanya mambo hayo kwa sababu hawajui mazuri na mabaya.
Kwa kuianza asubuhi yako kwa tafakari yenye nguvu namna hii, hakuna chochote kitakachokutokea ambacho kitakushangaza, maana ulishakitegemea.

WHAT IS A HAPPY LIFE ??

Kauli ya Seneca kuhusu kuishi kwa furaha;

“What is a happy life? It is peacefulness and lasting tranquillity, the sources of which are a great spirit and a steady determination to hold fast to good decisions. How does one arrive at these things? By recognizing the truth in all its completeness, by maintaining order, moderation and appropriateness in one’s actions, by having a will which is always well-intentioned and generous, focused on reason and never deviating from it, as lovable as it is admirable.” – Seneca, Letters, 92.3

Seneca anauliza maisha ya furaha maana yake nini? Ni maisha ambayo yana amani na utulivu, ambayo chanzo chake ni imani kuu na maamuzi ya kushikilia maamuzi sahihi. Na je mtu anawezaje kufikia hili? Ni kwa kugundua ukweli kamili, kwa kuenda kulingana na mipango, kuwa na kiasi katika matendo na kuwa na nia njema na ukarimu, kuongozwa na fikra sahihi na kutokupotoka.

FALSAFA YA USTOA NI NINI ???

USTOA ni falsafa ya matendo, ni falsafa ambayo imelenga kumwezesha mtu kuwa na maisha bora, kwa kufikiri sahihi na kuchukua hatua sahihi kwenye maisha yake. Falsafa ya ustoa siyo kama falsafa nyingine za kubishana na kutaka kuonekana unajua zaidi, badala yake ni falsafa ya kufikiri sahihi na kuchukua hatua sahihi. Falsafa ya ustoa inalenga kudhibiti hisia zetu na kuishi kulingana na asili. Kwa njia hiyo, tunakuwa na maisha bora wakati wote.

Falsafa ya ustoa ilianzishwa na Zeno wa Citium miaka ya 301 K.K na baadaye kupokelewa na kukuzwa na wanafalsafa Cato, Seneca, Epictetus na Marcus Aurelius. Hawa wote ni wanafalsafa walioishi zaidi ya miaka 2000 iliyopita, wakati wa utawala wa Roma.